Better Angels and Our Nature

And the wheels turn

Funny, the things that make our stomach flip. 

I’m pretty sure I’m a bitch for seeing people as situations rather than themselves. I get so caught up sometimes. And then one little sentence throws the whole thing back into perspective. 

Sometimes I can’t tell the reason why my heart hurts. I’ve been absorbing the ambient moods of others very intensely recently. I am either very perceptive concerning this or totally out of it and self involved. haha. 

One thing is certain - I’ve been feeling different recently. It’s hard to place. I get overly anxious still and I get crazy but something keeps trying to just come out, break free. I can’t really tell what it is but I am pretty sure I’m going to find out soon. 

So it goes. 

Beached

Puddle plotting 

tears against time. 

It’s easy to bet backwards 

and bend backwards 

Anticipate drowning 

Before coal black clouds

align. 

Inside my gut recoils from trust 

and on some beach 

sand castles melt to mush 

from flooding. 

My heart

sprung a leak an ocean’s breadth. 

And spat you out -a dark and dirty mess of muscle

Tossed upon the shore, some 

Shattered ancient thing bruised too 

Ugly to hold from drowning, 

A cancer, a sea

sickness.

The shape of your feet 

Fill puddles on my beach.

And when our story has been told 

I’ll live this tide with no one’s hand to hold. 

andtheycallthewindmariah asked: You have no clue how rad it is to be able to say that I follow Lee Moretti on tumblr. :)

Not as cool as you are, lady! I have some shows this summer, keep a lookout! I hope to see you theeerrree!

Easy Requests

Demanding more, demanding me - 

Easily. 

We’ve done this dance now 

five years/six?

Unrelenting till 

our game lost playground

Petty, careless bruising 

The fruits of desire overripe and 

Oozing, till you 

black and blued me

Or I, you. 

We fondled innocence till it fell from trees, 

We trampled the garden because 

Boredom festers like disease 

like dandelion weed 

Clawing, relentless through the meadow 

Swallowing youth whole. 

I love you in that special way - 

like freeze framing till words lose meaning, 

Staring at the construct

Re-constructing muscle, bone, and pulse 

Where brick and mortar faltered 

Caving in - changing your mind - again 

I avoid my own health because caring scares me. 

You avoid others because feeling scares you - 

It’s the same blind 

Boring

problem. 

And I’m getting to old 

for this shit. 

Song

I am just a passive observer, 

I am just a little girl. 

But it seems to me, if you don’t want her

Maybe it’s time to let it go. 

And I’m not fine 

with keeping my eyes closed. 

Daddy, Mommy, here’s the moon. 

Daddy, Mommy, here’s your son: 

Soul destroyer, fire starter 

Heaven, he burned all we love. 

She was just a farmer’s daughter, 

A doe-eyed girl your headlights froze. 

And if I were just another martyr 

I’d have been the one you chose 

Red wine, cyanide. 

Here’s to keeping your eyes closed. 

Daddy, Mommy, here’s the moon. 

Daddy, Mommy, here’s your son: 

Soul destroyer, fire starter 

Heaven, he burned all we love. 

Heart stop hope I miss you when you’re next to me I mourn your kiss like Departed, dearly A future that isn’t ours. Love enduring, like the sun Scorches earth and mud Falling hard Before it’s risen.

Backlog Poetry: 2

After(noon)

It’s a whole new world after

Noon,

the high-tide sun

Looming

Predatory,

Chases her tail down, the

Droopy-eyed sky

Sagging in her mischief.

Johnny steals a golf cart,

Offers the passenger seat like an

Open palm and I

Take it. Hoping to hold

What’s left of his blue-eyed boyhood, supple and full

Wondering how he might

Open

Up.

But as daylight’s embers die, so does he:

Stumbling into twilight,

Groping for the hole in his chest,

What his parents left.

I imagine Icarus

Broken

Out, cursed

Melting in the bright eye of his maker

Fallen from the wings

he built

Himself.

He divorced his family at fifteen.

And me,

I’m still

Here.

Desolate.

Darkened by the dusk,

Recalling faintly now the taste and taint

Of trust.